Crack Addicts (not so) Anonymous

[swan_tower]

Over on Dreamwidth, Toft has posted about discovering the crack that is Mercedes Lackey (specifically, Valdemar).

It's prompted an outpouring of squealing fangirl love in the comments -- I suspect it's mostly fangirls, though there may be the occasional fanboy in there -- with frequent deployment of CAPITAL LETTERS to properly channel the commenters' sentiments. I'm in there with them; I, too, was once a twelve-year-old girl, and Lackey's books once occupied a beloved position on my bookshelf.

Some of them still do. When I packed up to move to California, one of the things I did was go through our bookcases, pulling and re-reading out the things that were there because I'd loved them when I was in junior high. The idea was to say farewell, to squeeze out those last, precious drops of nostalgia and then free up shelf space for books that are, well, better. In a few cases, though, the nostalgia was still going strong -- and those books, I kept.

Understand, it's not that they're good. It's that they're crack, and furthermore crack which, for whatever reason, still has the power to affect me. Yes, Vanyel is Emo McAngstyPants, and THAT'S WHY I LOVE HIM. The fact that Dirk and Talia and Kris refuse to have the one simple conversation that could end all their suffering is not a FLAW, it's WHY I SHOWED UP FOR THE BOOK. Drizzt Do'Urden could give Vanyel a run for his money on the emo front, with bonus chunks of unadulterated inner monologue OF WOE (plus awesome fight scenes!). David Eddings may be writing the same series over and over again, but in the Belgariad/Malloreon instance it's a series that features smartass characters being smartasses to one another and I could watch that ALL DAY, YO. And Robert Jordan . . . well, I dumped his books because they take up too much damn room, but I'm making up for it in other ways.

And you know, there's something wonderful about seeing people admit their love for crack, whether it's stuff they adored in childhood or just picked up recently. So have at it in the comments: what do you love, not despite its ridiculousness, but because of it?

This is officially a SHAME-FREE ZONE; no need to preface your comments with "These books are so bad, but --" That part goes without saying. Just tell us what books you adore, against all reason. Unleash the power of your caps-lock key because lowercase letters AREN'T ENOUGH TO CONTAIN YOUR LOVE. Admit your addiction to emo soulbonded sparklepony hurt/comfort Mary Sue wish-fulfillment CRACK.

You know you want to.

Comments

[lindenfoxcub.livejournal.com]

Oh good, I'm not the only one who hated mercedes lackey. If I'd been 12 when I started reading them, I would have devoured them, but sadly, I was 25 when my husband insisted I read these amazing books, and I got to book 2 of the valdemar series, and really, it wasn't the angst that got me, cause that wasn't so bad, it was the breakdown of author research on dealing with snow. They're in a forest thick enough that they can't go around a fallen tree, and they're worried about going snowblind? You don't get snowblindness in a forest. You get it on the tundra where there are no trees to break up the brightness. Otherwise, I'd have to wear snow goggles six months of the year.

I did love Ann Mccaffrey, though - just the dragon books, and only the first six and the three prequels (Moreta the most though, I read it first and there was lots of death and a tragic ending.)

The other one, I'm not sure if it qualifies as crappy enough to be crack, but E E Knight's Age of Fire series, about the dragons; from the point of view of the dragons instead of the angsty mary sue dragon riders. They don't have riders, and frequently eat people.

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

One of my discarded series ideas from ages ago was a dragon-rider thing where the people are absolutely the subordinate partners in that equation, basically acting as servants to these large flying carnivores that cannot quite do everything for themselves.

[mindstalk.livejournal.com]

You should read Cherry's Rider at the Gate, for both the above reason *and* what a friend called "Cherryh must have read too much Lackey and snapped".