a slightly belated announcement
Feb. 20th, 2006 09:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
swan_towerHark, all ye commitment-shy types, to my tale, and learn ye from my example, that ye not cause yourselves the problems I did.
Kyle and I started dating in February of 1999. (On the 12th, perhaps, or the 16th. "Averaging" these two dates to make our anniversary Valentine's Day is not correct, no matter what he says -- especially when he deliberately avoided asking me out on Valentine's Day at the time.) Within about three years or so, he made it clear that he was happy with me and more or less ready to propose. I, on the other hand, being twitchy and commitment-shy, made it clear that I was not ready to be proposed to. Thus began a half-unspoken agreement wherein he would not propose until I was ready for it.
This went on for about four years.
I realized some months ago that I'd put myself in a bind. Assuming I was ready -- which I wasn't sure of -- then telling him so would be tantamount to telling him to propose. Telling him to propose would (assuming I wasn't a truly sadistic bitch) be tantamount to telling him my answer. So the minute I said I was ready, whether I passed it through intermediaries or not (as was suggested to me), I would feel like I had a target painted on my forehead, waiting for him to ask.
This was awkward.
So then I got it into my head that I could circumvent the problem by proposing to him myself, thereby avoiding the "sitting duck" stage of the process.
Which I did. On Thursday. (The 16th.)
Let the record show that he spent about three minutes laughing hysterically before he got around to answering me. (He accepted.) He then asked me if I had a ring for him, so I took off the one I was wearing (which he gave to me several years ago) and put it on his pinkie finger (the only one it would fit on). He has also pointed out to me repeatedly that he hasn't proposed to me, so I haven't technically agreed to marry him. There might be a proposal in my future yet. But any way you slice it, we are now engaged.
It amuses me that it's apparently family tradition on both sides: my mother proposed to my father, and so did Kyle's mother to his father. Of couse, he's just vexed that I ruined all of his plans, since he'd pretty much decided to propose to me in the next six months whether I wanted him to or not.
The delay in posting this came about because, halfway through telling people, Kyle decided that he wanted to wait to tell people here in town until Saturday night, when there would be a party at which we could announce the news. I agreed that this would be preferable to letting all our local friends find out via LJ, hence the delay. But now it's as public as it gets: I am engaged, after seven years of dating.
And no, we haven't set a date yet. If people keep asking me that, I may just have to deck somebody.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 02:38 am (UTC)(Shit, we're being cute again, aren't we?)
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 02:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 02:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 02:39 am (UTC)And congratulations. I've said that a bunch of times, but it's worth saying again. ;)
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Date: 2006-02-21 02:41 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-02-21 02:41 am (UTC)*ducks and runs*
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Date: 2006-02-21 02:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 02:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 02:45 am (UTC)(...t'sabout time, you guys...)
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Date: 2006-02-21 04:48 am (UTC)(Of course, at the moment, the only seven-year folklore reference that's coming to mind is the Faerie Queen's tithe to Hell . . . .)
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 02:48 am (UTC)...Just for the record and because I still have your vericon badge, is Marie Brennan equally engaged, or just you?
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Date: 2006-02-21 03:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-02-21 02:55 am (UTC)And welcome to the madness that is wedding planning. ;)
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Date: 2006-02-21 04:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 02:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 04:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 03:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 04:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 03:36 am (UTC)(hearing it probably wont wear off anytime soon...)
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Date: 2006-02-21 04:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 03:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 04:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 03:56 am (UTC)(I'd say enjoy the wedding planning, but it's been a year and a half for me and I'm still in recovery.)
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Date: 2006-02-21 04:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 04:06 am (UTC)What are you going to wear?
;>
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Date: 2006-02-21 04:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-02-21 04:10 am (UTC)And my Mom did that too... sort of. She and her roommate at the time told their respective significant others to marry them or get out. Almost thirty years later, Mum and Dad are still happily married. :o)
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Date: 2006-02-21 04:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 04:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 04:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 04:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 04:59 am (UTC)That's what I say.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 05:05 am (UTC)...
I'm very, very happy for you both.
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Date: 2006-02-21 09:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-02-21 06:32 am (UTC)Much Awesome on the two of you. I'm very happy for you. :D
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Date: 2006-02-21 09:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 07:58 am (UTC)This...
Telling him to propose would (assuming I wasn't a truly sadistic bitch) be tantamount to telling him my answer. So the minute I said I was ready, whether I passed it through intermediaries or not (as was suggested to me), I would feel like I had a target painted on my forehead, waiting for him to ask.
This was awkward.
...was my favorite part.
And, oh yeah, congratulations!
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Date: 2006-02-21 09:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 08:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 09:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 10:45 am (UTC)I'll sift for some seven-years-before-marriage stories.
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Date: 2006-02-21 09:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 12:31 pm (UTC)And being laughed at for three minutes really isn't so bad. When I proposed to Sarah, she thought I was kidding and got kind of pissed, and we argued for about a half hour before I could convince her that I was serious and she agreed.
Of course, perhaps part of that was that I was wearing my ghost-walk costume when I proposed, and we were sitting in the Waffle House...
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Date: 2006-02-21 09:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 12:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 09:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 03:15 pm (UTC)I think people ask about the date mostly because it's the obvious next question. But take your time, because being "affianced" is a rather nice mixture of expectation and security. Or at least, I'm enjoying it.
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Date: 2006-02-21 09:38 pm (UTC)