How can words on a screen/paper, by people who are strangers to you, words that are not about you or directed towards you or anyone you know/love, and especially, words that no one is making you read - how can that be "hurtful"?
It's hurtful when people assume the rape you experienced was like the (unrealistic) ones they've encountered in fiction.
It's hurtful when people expect you to react to your rape like the (unrealistic) characters they've encountered in fiction.
It's hurtful when people's response to you is like the (unrealistic) ones they've seen in fiction -- and then they don't understand why their Helpful Comments aren't actually helpful.
I could go on, but really let me just say: people who have experienced this have said "oh my god, this is a problem." Actual rape survivors, dealing with the actual fallout of actual bad depictions. If you can't understand that, fine -- but you still need to accept that they have first-hand experience, and therefore can judge the problem better than you can.
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yati
no subject
Date: 2015-06-05 06:49 pm (UTC)It's hurtful when people assume the rape you experienced was like the (unrealistic) ones they've encountered in fiction.
It's hurtful when people expect you to react to your rape like the (unrealistic) characters they've encountered in fiction.
It's hurtful when people's response to you is like the (unrealistic) ones they've seen in fiction -- and then they don't understand why their Helpful Comments aren't actually helpful.
I could go on, but really let me just say: people who have experienced this have said "oh my god, this is a problem." Actual rape survivors, dealing with the actual fallout of actual bad depictions. If you can't understand that, fine -- but you still need to accept that they have first-hand experience, and therefore can judge the problem better than you can.