People probably think I'm too quick to believe someone's been raped. :/
I have a friend who was raped by the guy she'd been seeing on and off for several years. There was a lot of "fooling around" going on, and he asked her at every stage if she was okay with things, and she always said "yes, with what we're doing now, but I still don't want to have sex." He refrained from asking her before penetrating her.
I told her to go see a therapist. I don't know where she found the idiot, but that person convinced her that it wasn't rape. That it was a misunderstanding. She believes this now with 100% of her being. She's married to him. They have a daughter. She and I don't talk much because I still believe 100% that he raped her, and that the therapist is a raging moron who should never be allowed to talk to other people, and she just can't understand why I'm holding a grudge for so long. He hates me because I said, flat out, that he's a rapist. She's told me that I'm the only one of her friends who holds out and still thinks of him as a rapist.
I don't care. He's a rapist. She married her rapist, because someone convinced her that what happened to her was a misunderstanding that was at least partially her fault because she let it go so far.
I guess I'm babbling about something that really doesn't have much to do with your post, but... I've been holding that frustration in for a long while now.
It is very disturbing to think that someone you know may be a rapist... someone you know and like. And the more people you know, the more likely it is to be true.
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yati
no subject
Date: 2012-08-23 11:49 am (UTC)I have a friend who was raped by the guy she'd been seeing on and off for several years. There was a lot of "fooling around" going on, and he asked her at every stage if she was okay with things, and she always said "yes, with what we're doing now, but I still don't want to have sex." He refrained from asking her before penetrating her.
I told her to go see a therapist. I don't know where she found the idiot, but that person convinced her that it wasn't rape. That it was a misunderstanding. She believes this now with 100% of her being. She's married to him. They have a daughter. She and I don't talk much because I still believe 100% that he raped her, and that the therapist is a raging moron who should never be allowed to talk to other people, and she just can't understand why I'm holding a grudge for so long. He hates me because I said, flat out, that he's a rapist. She's told me that I'm the only one of her friends who holds out and still thinks of him as a rapist.
I don't care. He's a rapist. She married her rapist, because someone convinced her that what happened to her was a misunderstanding that was at least partially her fault because she let it go so far.
I guess I'm babbling about something that really doesn't have much to do with your post, but... I've been holding that frustration in for a long while now.
It is very disturbing to think that someone you know may be a rapist... someone you know and like. And the more people you know, the more likely it is to be true.