Just to maybe give you a new lense check out Caryl Churchill's play Cloud 9. It is one of the best plays of the 20th century and it talks about feminism, colonialism, racism, and the big bigoted isms and makes you laugh. It is just amazing.

And I can so empathize with what you are writing and the only thing I can offer, which of course can be trashed and considered bull, is that perhaps you should trust yourself and your gut as you write. Perhaps your own experiences of sexism, and the subtleties of sexism in both overcoming it and dealing with it, might help.

Or I'm just full of it, which yes, I will totally accept. :)