See, you say that about childbirth, but I'm pretty sure the numbers of children I am likely to have include one, zero, and noooooo other numbers. So I was pretty likely to have taken you seriously on this front also, and then the childbirth thing? Not going to un-convince me.

I'm likely to keep writing historical fiction, though, so I'm glad you're suffering with me.

Wait. That might not be the nicest thing to say.

I like your historical fiction, so I'm glad you're miserable?

Um. It's apparently not my morning for nice.

How about 'there there, dear'?

There there.